I am a swirling mass of contradictions and cognitive dissonance hoping an enterprising journalist will outsource his poor scruples to a private investigator who can hack my head and give me my opinions in a pithy headline.

I hate the Murdoch monopoly and craven Conservatives, but prefer a Murdoch with the human instincts to protect someone he likes (Rebekah Brooks) and has an emotional attachment to a disappearing industry that needs propping up to the anonimised depersonalised “interests of shareholders”.

I think communications should be sacrosanct and that the organisation that created the phone hackers should burn, but I applaud wikileaks.

I think information should be free but won’t tell Facebook what I am up to.

I don’t want to give my private details over to the state, but my Twitter account has my latest mental state.

I think the rioting is making a point, but it is not one the rioters are making. Even in this they are alienated from their actions.

I don’t mind when the rioters smash the windows at Tesco in Bristol, but am saddened when they take e-numbers off the shelves in Hackney.

I want all this to hurt the Tories politically, but know that the other side is also complicit.